Tick tock tick tock.....

I have yet to make my mark on the world yet and I am starting to feel the pressure, because as cliche' as it sounds.....time stops for no one. Ever since I was a kid I have had a serious problem with the concept of time; I can vividly remember bursting out into tears at random, because I didn't want my parents to die. Now, while I still don't want my parents to die and just the thought kills me (no pun intended) there are so many other pressures that make my heart hurt.

I sit here at a very cool job, watching Gwen Stefani at the moment, but that's neither her nor there, but my point is that it's a pretty cool job. Yet, I am still sitting behind a desk thinking, seriously I hope this isn't it. I want to be creative and use what I have been afforded to make a difference, but again when do we have time to make that happen? "I'm frightened Auntie Em, I'm frightened" that I will be that person that says I could have done this and I could have done that, but I never tried. So how do I do it? Tell me, would ya' please? I spend my days working and being grateful for what I have, praying that I don't take advantage of what has been provided and yet I want more, is that bad? Why are the Black Eyed Peas on the TV screens playing the same song again, I think that is the 3rd time this morning?!?!? Again, neither here nor there, I'm just saying.....

In any case I don't burst out in tears at random anymore afraid that my parents are going to die; I have accepted the fact that none of us will be around forever. I am mostly concerned about people always knowing how much they mean to me and that I am deeply inspired, by the little things that they do. I mean people have paid me some monster compliments in my day based on personality and in my head I'm thinking, I'm the lucky one.....I'm total poser and just bit off of everyone else's good qualities and try my best to emulate them so people feel half as good as they make me feel. So, I guess the good news story here is that even if I do nothing else in life and my biggest issue is the above listed, then I am a very lucky man.

So I know that I am the one who has to figure out the job and my future thing, I didn't mean to put the responsibility on you. I do however appreciate your listening ear, but if you get anything from today's rant I hope that you know that from the bottom of mt heart I am grateful for you. Make it a good one.....